It’s Baby loss awareness week from 9-15^th October.  I thought I would give you an idea of what you might notice during this time if it’s new to you, and how to take care if you have experienced baby loss or pregnancy loss.

What is it?

This awareness week is dedicated to promoting awareness of the issues surrounding baby loss and pregnancy loss, to help raise money and support bereaved parents.  It has a hugely important role to improve resources in maternity services, mental health and bereavement care.  Many UK organisations, come together to promote this issue predominantly on social media, sharing important facts, people’s stories, resources and have planned organised events.

How to get involved?

Involvement at this time will very much depend on how you feel and where you are at.  Many of the Baby loss groups will invite you to wear a two-ribbon pink and blue pin, or ask you to share and upload the Baby loss logo to your social media profile, and you could purchase items like t-shirts, mugs, candles etc.  It might be that you choose to do your own fundraising with a charity run, or event that you are passionate about.  You will see various remembrance walks across the country.

This year’s theme is around wellbeing and topics will explore how to look after yourself, as well as taking care of siblings and partners.  There will also be a focus on the role of the community and workplace, and supporting those support staff on the frontline.

This can often be a time that people want to share their own story of loss, to connect with their grief, and have their pain acknowledged, which can be a huge support to others.  Social media posts may be a lot around baby loss, grief, resources and some people may choose to share pictures of the precious babies they lost.  The week comes to an end on 15^th October with the wave of light.  This is where people are asked to light a candle at 7pm, and leave it burning for an hour, to remember the babies that have died to soon.

All of this can be so very important for people to participate in………..but only if it’s right for you.

My experience of Baby loss awareness week

From my own experience I know I have felt a mixture of things regarding this awareness week, sometimes feeling comfort in other’s stories, but also real sadness at things that may trigger difficult feelings and memories.  At times, I have been open about my loss, lighting and sharing my remembrance candle, or I might wear my pin.  But over the years I sometimes find this all too much and choose not to engage with this if I feel overwhelmed and not ok.  I take extra care around this time, as it’s close to when my losses were.

Even although I am a good few years on from my baby loss experience, I know that I will need to see how it is for me day to day, and I am ok with knowing that I may choose not to participate.  I have chosen not to attend baby loss training, which although will be good for my CPD, I need to put myself first and look after me.  I have already unfollowed some baby loss pages, as I know it isn’t helpful for me to see angel baby pictures.  For some people of course, this is so important to get that acknowledgement.  I will schedule only a few FB posts during this important week, but may choose not to reply to comments.  I am also really looking forward to my upcoming holiday next week which helps to keep me off my phone a little.  I am not telling myself that I need to light a candle on 15^th, but will wait and see, and I feel ok about this. Some years I have found it to be so cathartic and healing. It does not mean I am not thinking of my losses if I choose not to light it.

Self-care

My hope for you is that you do exactly what you need to between 9^th-15^th.  Just because you have had the experience of baby loss or pregnancy loss, doesn’t mean it’s the right fit for you to share your experience or get involved at all.  For some people this is not a triggering week, and it might feel harder seeing pregnancy bumps and new babies.  Everyone has a different way of seeing things, and different needs.  Connect to your loss, or disconnect and choose other self-care activities, some of which I spoke about in my September blog.  Take care if this is a week you feel ready to share your story for the first time, as it can be a very draining process, but might be what you need to break the silence.

Remember that you get to acknowledge your loss at any time of the year, and this may not feel the right time.  If you do find the week triggering, and you are noticing an impact, please contact me to discuss counselling support for you.

www.babyloss-awareness.org/

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

www.babylossretreat.org.uk/